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I do know what to do now.

I want to address something that has been coming up in the comments on my last post over and over again. Yes, what my husband said to me was incredibly cruel and I'm sure I sound like I am making excuses for it but after 5 1/2 months of me being incredibly difficult and with him getting no support or help. I kind of did this to us. And I'm trying to fix it now. My OB is amazing. She listened, she was shocked at what he had to say, but knows as a married person, there are always rough patches. What she hears is we both want this to work. Now it's about pointing my husband in the right direction to get that help. She referred me to a different group of therapists, and found a family counselor that sounds like a really good fit, both for me, and for eventually bringing the big bird in.

I appreciate the concern but I've said almost as nasty things to him about his family when I've been angry and frustrated so I understand he's upset, frustrated he can't help me, and that this has been going on for over 5 months. He's had little to no support (partially my fault, partially his). Until we really try together to work through this I'm not willing throw away 11 years of a relationship. I'm not against divorce (my parents are and it was the best thing for them. They are amazing coparents.) But I really want to try to make this work for our daughter's sake. And for mine.


He had flowers (lilies and daises) delivered to the house with a card that reads "I'm sorry. I want this to work and am willing to do anything. You are a wonderful mother and an amazing wife, woman, and person. I love you." This is the big bird I know and love. He just had a moment of weakness. When he gets home I'm going to calmly talk to him about what I discussed with the OB and bring up seeing a therapist again. I believe he will be willing to do it since it will be a different therapist than I'm currently seeing and he really respects and likes my OB.

I was able to make an appointment for next week Tuesday with a new therapist who is a licensed marriage and family counselor. My mom called to invite me to come over to her place for the weekend. We're going to watch movies and drink margaritas and I'll probably open up to her a bit more of what is going on. Either way I think me and the big bird getting some space can only help. I'm going to suggest a night away for the two of us too.

Again I really appreciate the concern. This community is truly amazing. I love you all.

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