On Wednesday, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to our alma mater over this weekend because it's a special weekend in which a lot of current and former students go back. I had expressed interest in going before, and I was excited about it. I even arranged to stay with a friend who still has her apartment there. Anyway, last night, I felt like I really didn't want to go. I just thought of the last time I visited and how I didn't have the best experience and how I didn't want it to go down like that again. So I've decided not to go. My boyfriend is fine with that, but I feel lame and bad for choosing not to go last minute. I could be going and having fun at my university, but I'm staying home instead. The thing is, I like hanging out with my family and I had promised to take my younger sister to a town fair today, so I was looking forward to that anyway. And I want to see the World Cup finale, which I probably would've missed if I went to my university since we'd be roadtripping back home around that time.

But still...part of me feels like a lonely loser for not going during such a great weekend. Plus, I feel bad because my boyfriend and me were going to go up with his one friend who would be driving, but my boyfriend said that he doesn't want to go up if I don't want to go. So I feel like I screwed him over (although he's been really understanding of my change of plans). But the other part feels really relieved and doesn't want to be disappointed like I was last time I visited.