(Please do not mainpage for the love of all gods both old and new. Also, sex-related TMI's ahoy.)
This was really hard to put into words, and I'm still not even sure I should bring it up here, but I can't think of anyone in real life I could talk to about this.
Anyway, I feel like my sex life has gone down the shitter, and I don't know what to do about it. As most of you know, I have a girlfriend, and we live together. I've noticed that the rate at which we have sex has gone down dramatically since the spring (?), and I'm starting to get frustrated in more ways than one.
We had sex this morning for the first time in like two weeks. Afterward I told my girlfriend I wish we could have sex more often, and she didn't say anything. I asked her if I was doing anything wrong, and she said no.
My girlfriend is trans, and sex can be a tricky subject because of that. She hasn't had surgery yet, and depending on if she's been taking her hormone pills when she's supposed to, she can't always get it up or get in the mood. Or sometimes I accidentally do something in bed that makes her feel misgendered and turned off, although fortunately I haven't done anything like that in a long time (but that's also why I asked her today if I was doing anything wrong).
She doesn't seem to have any sort of explanation for why we don't have sex as often as we used to (not that I kept track, but I KNOW it was more than once every two weeks), although lately I've been suspecting she has a serious case of depression that needs to be treated with something other than excessive marijuana consumption.
As for me, I feel like I'm doomed to have a shitty sex life forever and ever, amen. My current girlfriend is my third SO/sex partner (I suck at casual dating), and no one I've dated so far has been able to keep up with me in bed. I've always had a really high sex drive that I try to manage through masturbating when I can and reading/writing porn, but it's not always enough as I derive a great deal of pleasure from getting other people off.
Blah, I don't know what to do about my girlfriend or my raging libido. I feel like if it were up to her, we'd never have sex. She hasn't been the one to initiate sex in a very long time, and when I try to start things, I'm obviously not very successful. I want to talk to her about depression, but I will have to tread lightly with that one because she tends to shut down completely whenever I try to discuss Serious Things with her.
I know it's kind of a cliche for things to die down sexually between couples and especially women (lesbian bed death, anyone?), but I refuse to accept that as a part of my life.