I just don't. And I've had it up to *here* [puts hand at forehead level] with people trying to tell me what I want. (obviously, many people want kids and love having kids and this is not, at all, a statement on the choices someone else makes)

  1. I don't want the financial burden. I'm scared of that financial burden. I've been in monetary struggles more than once and each time been like, holy shit, if I had a kid right now, we would both be completely fucked. Not *completely* but like, live with my mother kind of fucked. At least I have that option, but I don't want it.
  2. I don't want the time/lifestyle change. I'm selfish, maybe. That's fine. I have a big family. There are a lot of people and a lot of love. I will surely be an aunt, and definitely at least a cousin-aunt.
  3. Until I was Just About That Age, I thought kids were inevitable and one day the mom switch would turn on. I'm 30 and I don't have the urge still. I'm open to the idea my mind will change. I'm not going to pretend I can predict the future.
  4. People have a problem with this, because I am great with kids. I grew up nannying, I have a bunch of much younger siblings and cousins that I was pretty much a third parent to. Guess what being great at kids taught me at an early age? It's fucking hard. And I wasn't even the parent.
  5. I don't want the bodily change. I don't want to go through childbirth. I'm afraid of it. I hate doctors. I have a lot of anxiety about it. I have never had very good health insurance and have no idea at what point I'll ever be able to get it.
  6. My mom had cancer, 2 toddlers, 2 middle schoolers, and a cheating husband who worked out of the state, all at the same time. I realize that's an extreme situation, but it absolutely terrifies me. I have to control something to prevent a similar event in my life. If every single thing in my life goes wrong, I don't want kids to get the runoff like we did.
  7. My SO is meh about kids. He thinks they would be a blast; he also doesn't have the strong opinions I have, and says he loves me more than a fantasy of the future, and wouldn't pressure me into it. (there is also a strong possibility that we could end up being caregiver to people in either of our families which scares him)
  8. I don't fucking want them. I shouldn't have to give a list of reasons to someone.

This rant brought to you in part by my uncle.