I live about an hour from my home town/where my parents live/where one of my best friends lives and is going to college/where I went to college/what else... um I think that's the last /. So anyways, I went home last weekend and hung out with friend on Friday night. We had plans Friday, Saturday night (go to a movie) and Sunday (watch AHS that she recorded for me since I don't have cable). On Friday night, we got together as planned and I met her new boyfriend who also hung out with us. Great times. Except...

Well, we had a few drinks and we're all talking and we start talking about one of my friend's other friends. I was supposed to be meeting this friend last weekend, but due to a new job, she was unable to visit (she lives halfway across the country and is a friend that my friend met when she was also living halfway across the country). I've heard talk about this girl for years now and I was super pumped about meeting her! I've heard a ton of stories about how this girl and I are "like, the exact same person!" So anyways, I was disappointed that she wasn't able to come, but whatever.

The three of us hanging out started discussing this girl and my friend made a comment about how nervous she was for me to meet this girl because she was afraid we would hate each other since, again, we're the exact same person. (There was a bit in there about how I'm "judgmental" which is something my friend tends to call me all the time when she's drunk which I can't stand. I'm critical, especially with the jerks my friend dates when they start rumors about her/are huge jerks to everyone. I don't think that's judgmental, but I digress) I said I was really looking forward to meeting her friend and that I thought we'd get along famously. I also said that since my friend was my best friend that I'm sure I'd like whoever she did. That's when my friend proceeded to let me know that while she loves me, this other girl is her "person" and that she's just more her "best friend" than I am. I was pretty devastated and left pretty much right away, and told her I needed some time (I think my friend was too drunk because she said she didn't know what it was she said to upset me). We ended up not following through with our Saturday or Sunday plans.

I fully understand that you can have more than one best friend. This girl is one of my best friends. So is a girl I've known for many years that lives out of state. And frankly, so is my mom. The difference is, I've never ranked them. I get that at times you're closer to one friend than you are another. Right now, I'm closer to the friend that lives an hour away, versus the one that lives hundreds of miles away. But they're still both my best friends and I couldn't tell you which one is "more my best friend" in the way that this girl did with me last weekend. It hurt. A bunch. Especially since this girl who she apparently ranks higher than me is exactly like me. It made me all insecure and stuff about myself not being as pretty/thin/whatever as this other girl. And my friend does a fair amount of fat shaming without realizing it, so it kinda wouldn't surprise me if that was the reason she liked this girl more. But it still sucks.

So anyways... We've been planning to come to this big craft thing this weekend where I live. My mom is coming to stay, my friend is staying with her mom, and the four of us are going. I've spoken to my friend since the incident, but not about it. And not nearly as often or in the same was as before. I'm just nervous to see her again. I don't know if I should just suck it up and not worry about it or ever bring it up again, since it's pretty clear that she doesn't even know what she did hurt my feelings. Our text convos have gotten steadily less one-wordy as the week has gone on, so I don't think I'm going to be mad at her or anything in front of our moms. I honestly think that once we all get together everything will be fine and I'll forget myself that she said it until the next time something triggers that feeling. I'm just feeling so awkward about it!


When someone is one of your best friends and they rank you lower than so-and-so, what do you do? Do I tell her or do I just try and forget about it?