Anywhere outside of my family. I try so hard in friendships and they seem to fail. My husband and I don't know where we are going in a metaphorical way. We don't know if we are moving or staying. Trading in our car to downgrade or keeping it. If we are adopting next or having another biological kid and when. Having our daughter was so instinctual. And now, with her here, everything is so uncertain. I need real friends ones who meet my needs. I am tired of doing everything for everyone and getting nothing in return. Ugh. I feel a huge sense of ennui.