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I feel like I'm drowning...

You guys, I just can't catch a break. This week has been hell at work, and it seems that every day I'm getting a new medical bill in the mail (3 trips to the ER in August, because the doctors fucked up and didn't treat the underlying issue, and I'm still occasionally peeing blood, so...). Then, to top it all off, my gene test results STILL aren't in (it's been 5 weeks! they said 2-4!), so I had to reschedule my appointment with the genetic counselor for another two weeks from now.

So. Much. Stress.

So, I obviously need to quit smoking, since I can no longer afford food, I really need to stop spending money on cigs. I went out and bought a box of patches (FUCK! Those are expensive! no groceries this week!), and now I just need to set a quit date and suffer through it. I have a pack and a half left, plus my half emergency pack in the car, so I'm thinking I'll be quitting on Thursday at the rate I'm going. Which is going to suck, because I've been working 12+ hour days with no time for lunch this week, and smoking helps stave off the hunger til I can get home and eat dry cereal. :-|


On top of that, I need to do two other things: try and find a part time gig that will let me work weekends only, and figure out if I qualify for deferment on my student loans. I'm paying $400 a month towards them, and I just can't afford that right now.

So, anyone have any ideas for PT work? I can't do retail, because they all want me to work Black Friday/other holiday week shifts, and I can't take the time off my Real Job in order to work minimum wage. I used to bartend, but I'm having a hard time finding any bartending or waitressing stuff because this stupid state requires you to be registered to serve alcohol, and no bar or restaurant will sponsor me since I don't have "in state" experience, and don't have the money to shell out to the state for certification on my own. I need to be available for Real Job Monday through Friday any hours, so can't even do evenings during the week since I'm salaried and can potentially work 6 AM-7 PM (like this week).

Anyone have any experience deferring loans? I don't really have an "emergency" or anything right now, I just live in an area with a SUPER high cost of living, and I'm barely treading water as it is. Every time I go to the fed loan page to look at deferment options, I get overwhelmed and end up closing the page. I have no idea what I'm doing. I just pay them.

I promise I don't spend money frivolously, and besides cigarettes, I don't really spend on luxuries or unnecessary goods. Maaaaaaybe a $.99 bottle of nail polish every now and then, and sometimes I treat myself to a Jamba Juice when it's crazy at work and I'm starving. Internet is included in my rent, along with utilities, so I can't even cut back there. I'm on the bare minimum cell phone plan, which is my only other "unnecessary" expense. There isn't anywhere else I can cut down.


Also, I hate my fucking boss, and I hate my fucking job, and I wish I wasn't trapped here.

Gob, I am so depressed right now.

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