I wrote a long screed here ages ago about how I was not looking forward to this movie because I hated the idea of "humanizing" an evil fairy. Having seen it last night, all of those fears came true in this steaming shit pile of a movie. Here there be SPOILERS.

This article on I09 sums up most of my problems with the film but I had a few others.

The special effects were, on the whole, pretty terrible. It's like they spent all their time on Maleficent's wings and the dragon and fire effects and just went 3/4 of the way on everything else. Imelda Staunton's motion-capture face looked like putty.

The character choices are bizarre and make no sense. Why on earth did they turn the most benign king in all of Disney history into a raging, abusive psycho? Why is Aurora such a dopey moron? Why are the fairies basically useless? Why can't Maleficent teleport? Why didn't she curse Aurora to actually die as she does in the original film? Why doesn't she have minions? WHY DOESN'T SHE TURN INTO A DRAGON???

What is this bullshit with her loving Aurora and her kiss waking Aurora up? Why make The Mistress of All Evil basically into a mom who loves her daughter? It's absurd.

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What is this bullshit about her surviving and being nice and shit? This could have been an awesome tragic film with her dying at the end.

Why did they take the best purely evil character they had and turn her into a scorned, bitter woman who learns that revenge is wrong?

STOP IT DISNEY. SOME WOMEN JUST WANNA WATCH THE WORLD BURN.