...regarding the way in which I fantasize about sex.
I never personally feature in my fantasies. I don't daydream about having sex with hot guys, real or imaginary — only about other couples. Sometimes I replay scenes from things I've seen or read, sometimes I just make up my own scenes. But I'm never a part of it. And I think I've figured out why.
The idea of myself being sexually desirable to another human being is so foreign to me that I can't even entertain it in a fantasy. I don't want to creep or gross out fake people or imaginary versions of celebrities I find attractive by having sex with them in a mental fantasy that only I will ever know about. I don't want to inflict myself on people who are not real.
That's... pretty sad.
Here is a gif of sad Doctor to go with my sad post.