GT, I am so so joyful right now! I was really nervous before my appointment but I really shouldn't have been because the counsellor was so nice and kind and positive and I felt really comfortable telling her everything that's been on my mind. Pretty much the first thing she said to me was "you seem really nervous" so I guess I was a bit obvious, but after about 5 minutes it went away and I opened up. We talked about so much in just an hour and she was so understanding and not at all judgemental, but gave me some really good things to ponder this week. She even asked if there was a name I wanted to be called besides my birth name and I told her I'd like to be called "Laura" and when she said it it felt like hearing my name for the first time. I've never felt so affirmed and validated and human before, and by the end of it I felt so comfortable in my own skin and was able to speak and act from a genuine place rather than my usual "boy" mode. Since then it feels like I've been walking on air, and I went into town to get lunch and for the first time in a very long time I was able to be out in public without feeling self-conscious or anxious. I'm taking a standing appointment slot now so I can go each week, and I'm really really looking forward to my journey and starting down this path. Thank you so much to everyone here who gave me the confidence to find someone to talk to, you're all amazing wonderful people!! Love you all :)