Most of the reasons why are so boring they're not worth even ranting about, BUT...

The other day, a guy came into the coffee shop and order a coffee "regular." When I gave him his coffee, he said "I wanted it regular" (I had given him a black coffee). In Massachusetts, "regular" usually means cream and sugar. When I pointed out that all of our cream and sugar were right behind him, he was very confused. "But how do I know how much to put in? I don't know how much I like!"

...

It's your coffee. I don't know what to tell you, dude. I told him to put in cream and sugar until it tasted like what he wanted. He was not satisfied with this solution. He asked me how much other coffee shops put in. I told him that I didn't know, as I worked at THIS one, and I did not go and train at Dunkin' Donuts just so I could hold one of their customer's hand if one came in and was dumb enough to not know how to put cream and sugar in his own damn coffee.

Today, dude comes back in. He asks if I've figured out how much cream and sugar "you're supposed to put in."

...

Did douchebro think he had given me a homework assignment? On the chance that another person as stupid as him came in, I should brush up on my knowledge of what assholes like in their coffee?

Advertisement

I HATE PEOPLE. I IS A MISANTHROPIC SHINY.