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I HATE DAVID'S BRIDAL WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS

First, a hello to Groupthink is in order. I've been gone for sooooo long (six days). I moved on Saturday. Since Saturday morning I've been running around D.C. trying to find a place to live and a job. It's been...fun.

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But now, why I'm writing this post. David's Bridal. And how David's Bridal is truly the center of hell. But I've bested them. Suck on that, DB! So, I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding September 14. The bride was awesome enough to give her bridal party a few parameters (DB, Apple red, satin, not floor-length) but to otherwise let us pick our own dresses.

I found a dress online only that I knew would flatter me. I ordered it July 18. When it arrived I tried it on. It was too loose at the top (not a problem I generally have) and just a bit too tight at the rouched waist (a high waist on the dress). By a bit too tight I mean my mother could zip it but I couldn't breathe, or worse, sit. I contemplated ordering a size up. My mother, who can sew (but get's too nervous to alter nicer garments for me, grrrr) told me not too. It would be way too big. Just get it let out a bit at the waist. Well, the dress had arrived two and a half weeks before I was moving so I couldn't find anyone in the area who could alter the dress in time. I had to wait.

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I finally got around to calling to get the dress altered today. So I found a DB that was metro-accessible and called to set up an appointment. The lady informed me their bridesmaids dresses don't have enough at the seams to be let out. What?! What!!!! I only need it let out a little bit! A tiny bit! Nooooooo. So, I set up an appointment for Saturday morning and then went to the website to order a new dress and get it overnighted.

On trying to return the dress I have: THEY ONLY ALLOW YOU TO RETURN A DRESS WITHIN 14 DAYS OF WHEN THEY SHIPPED IT. Let's go over the two main pieces of this. 14 days. That's it. Also, 14 days from when they shipped the dress, not 14 days from when you received it. So, what? That's it? What the fuck am I going to do with this dress I have? Also, did I mention I'm poor? Let's go back to the first paragraph of this post where I implied I had no job.

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Obviously the next step is to get someone on the phone and barter with them/imply you will never use DB when you get married and you will tell your friends to never use DB when they get married. It is IMPOSSIBLE to get someone on the phone. They keep trying to direct you to local stores. But I don't want to talk to a store. I ordered through an online store. My dress isn't even available in physical stores. Online only. Stop trying to direct me to the DB in Rockville, you bitches.

Ok new next step. Let's look at the seams of this dress. I seriously find it shocking that the dresses are made in such a way that there's not enough inseam for the dress to be let out a little. Ok, I'm not the best seamstress but there looks like there is some inseam to work with. So I found a tailor down the street. I brought the dress down. He said there wasn't much inseam but he could take it out a little (added bonus: when I put the dress on for him it fit better then it did a few weeks ago). So he's going to do the alteration I want. $45. Ready Monday.

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Ok, final step. To cancel the dress I just ordered. The dress hasn't shipped yet. I just ordered it an hour ago. Let's try to find a way to cancel it online since I know there's no fucking way to get someone on the phone. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO WAY TO CANCEL AN ORDER ONCE IT'S STARTED "PROCESSING?!?!" The FUCK is this shit?! Seriously. The dress hasn't shipped. There's no way they shouldn't be able to cancel the order. Seriously, I don't want to be charged. I don't want to have to get the dress and return it. If I get the dress and return it they won't refund me the 37 fucking dollars I paid to overnight.

Google. Dear Google. How I love thee. Using that sweet, sweet magic Google I found the DB corporate number (which is absolutely nowhere to be found on the DB website). Well, press two on the corporate number and you get customer service. Like, customer service for the online store, not the receptionist at the DB in effing Rockville. I said I wanted to cancel the order. The lady asked for my order number. I gave it to her. She told me that the order was canceled and the authorization on the credit card would be removed. She told me the card isn't charged until the product ships so I hadn't been charged yet. Easy, peasy. Thank you DB website for being a lying sack of shit.

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I will NEVER use David's Bridal. EVER. I may have come out on top but there's just no reason why I should ever voluntarily give them my business.

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