Actually, I hate my entire neighborhood. Not even because it's a shady area, but just because I don't like any of the assholes who live here.

I particularly hate the guy 2 houses down. He's always trying to lecture me about cars. I had a flat tire one day and he went on and on about how I was going to ruin it and what happens to flat tires when you drive on them. Dude, I know. I just fixed the water pump and timing belt on my car. Myself. You saw me taking apart the whole goddamn car and putting it back together. I think if I can do that, I know what happens to flat tires, douchecanoe. Furthermore, all of your budweiser and miller lite banners you have covering your house are tacky.

Then there are the people down the street who set off fireworks. For no reason. At anytime of day. Even 3am. It happened in the middle of winter when we first moved here and I thought for sure someone got shot, because this is the kind of neighborhood that happens in.