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I hate not knowing what I'm doing.

I've been teaching in higher education for five years. I've taught seated; I've taught online. I also have to say that I a goddamn fine teacher.

So, I'm really fucking frustrated right now. Backstory: I graduated with my Master's in 2010, and when I did, Mr. LizzSook decided to head back to college and get his degree in accounting. Since that happened, I've become the primary breadwinner in the house. When he went back, I also was a bit more limited to the places that I could apply. Once he got in his program he wanted to stay in it, so instead of moving somewhere I could get a full-time job in teaching, I've had to stay in our same town, where there have been TWO openings in three years. (I applied for both and didn't even get an interview because there were 50 other experienced adjuncts that applied.) I am adjunct at one community college, working in the Writing Center in a state university nearby, and as of last week, I just took a job at a for-profit in town.

Since starting the for-profit a week ago, I already hate it and want to quit. They have ridiculous faculty expectations, and give me little control over my own classroom. (Even my stupid late-work policy is given to me.) The organization of the material is awful, and it takes me an hour of prep just collate all the fucking busy work they want me to give to the students. I'm so tired and frustrated already, and I know that the students aren't getting shit out of it.


Worse yet, I'm mad at myself that I even took the job to begin with. Oh, and most of the people I work with are middle aged prick dudes who constantly think it's funny to harass the young, female English teacher.

My life's a fucking wreck, and I am miserable.

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