I have a friend, whom I think I shall call Steve. Steve is... not the brightest, but very sweet. I have known him since we were very young. He was always chubby and awkward and the kind of guy who fell for any girl who gave him the time of day. He never was the kind of guy who blamed us for rejecting him, he would just get very sad and wonder if anyone would ever love him. Never to the girl who had just rejected him, but to another female friend (he was on the football team and really, really afraid of looking weak and emotional).
After high school, he joined the Marines. He was going to make a career out of it, but after a tour in Iraq, decided that he wanted to go to college and become a history teacher. I think he was hoping that the hero who served our country turned sensitive schoolteacher would get him some points. Not saying that's why he did it, I don't believe it was, but I think he was hoping that it would be a perk. It has not turned out that way.
Over the past few months, his facebook posts have been getting increasingly anti-women. There was one listing things a woman needs to do for a man to make him happy (it had about four things) versus things a man needs to do for a woman to make her happy. Predictably, it was about 80 bullet points long.
And then, there was this gem:
I've tried to talk to him about it. I've tried to explain that women don't owe him anything, that he won't find a woman who wants to be with him if he keeps assuming horrible things about us (this is the level I'm working on, I'm trying to use arguments that will work on HIM versus the actual best arguments).
I don't know if he's discovered any of the super creepy internet places (A Voice for Men or Return of Kings or any of that drivel), but I'm afraid of what would happen if he did.
At the risk of making him a cliche, he's too good of a guy to lose to these asshats. And I'm sure that there are some who think if he's that blind, if he's that willing to abandon reason because his pantsfeelings are sad that no one will touch his peen. But I see a guy who is really truly hurting, who despite having white hetero male privilege has been dealt a relatively shitty hand in life (poor, dad walked out when he was little, sick sister, etc).
Just... how do I talk him down from the proverbial MRA ledge?