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I have a secret! (Uh, guys, who is this "Aunt Kanye" person?) It's a boring mom secret, but still, YOU GET MAH SECRET. (Which is a weird word in all caps.)(I'm diggin parens way too much today.)(DonCurrrrrr.)

So, lonnnngggg time no see. I've been dealing with some stuff that I just do too much of (why, hallooooooo, addictive personality!) like booze (hey, sober-ish - if not 100% sober - is so fucking cool, I'd forgotten!) and internet (sorry, Kinja, I love you, don't hurt me) and been working on doing other stuff. Like.. well, nothing, really. Desqualoring, lavishing (homemade vitamin C serum ftw, btw), mourning my poor goldfish who didn't survive a water change (I cried, for two days, who knew goldfish were so lovable?), etc, etc. BTW, this previously un-shared (and should-be-undoxxable) pic is related to my secret.

BUT, I am back for one glorious, shining moment to share something that is KILLING ME. My youngest daughter missed a phone call today... so that person called the home phone, and as it turns out, she's been ACCEPTED AT HER FIRST/ONLY college choice. YOU GUYS. I PARENTED OK.


I'm not bragging, it's not like it's Harvard, but it IS kind of hard to get in to, and as I said, it's her only choice.

But here's the thing.. by the time she got out of v-ball practice, the woman who called to congratulate her (and spill the beans to me.. I love you, lady) is out for the day.


She earned that phone call. She earned making me cry when she tells me "I'm IN!" I feel so guilty for knowing first, but I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooo bad. Because this crazy woman (who has posting privs even though you don't know who the fuck she is though maybe you heard her name whispered once, chillingly, as you passed a dark room) apparently has the intellectual maturity of a fucking manatee.


But you guys. My 17yo? She fucking earned it.

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