Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery
This is a platform for User Generated Content. G/O Media assumes no liability for content posted by Kinja users to this platform.

I have become a stereotype of a student

Call me naive, but I really honestly never saw this coming. I mean, I knew the quality of wine I'd be drinking would deteriorate, but the extent to which the stereotypes apply after just two and a half weeks is astounding. I am now a student:

  • I will predrink literally whatever is available and cheap. Last night I had vodka and fanta (I don't even like vodka). At the weekend I had some truly alarming looking bright blue ("blueberry" flavoured) cider from Lidl (2 for £2, hell yeah!) (no but seriously, Lidl is the best)
  • I play the sort of drinking games that appear to have no rules
  • When deciding which club to go to, 'it does £0.90 jaegerbombs' is an irrefutable piece of reasoning
  • I have drunk £0.90 jaegerbombs
  • I don't normally eat fast food, but during freshers we got drunken 3 O'clock-in-the-morning McDonald's. Every. Single. Night.
  • I have had a not-entierly-sober conversation with a policeman (that sounds like I got arrested. I didn't. I just saw a policeman, and it would appear that I also wanted to converse with him)

Anything else I have to look forward to?

Share This Story

Get our newsletter