Six years ago: Oh, I go to Starbucks, but I just order coffee. I’m not one of those ‘half-caff soy mocha no whip’ people.

Four years ago: Hmm, lattes are pretty yummy. Okay, I’ll get those now.

Two years ago: Ugh, I’m lactose intolerant now. Can I have a soy latte?

One year ago: I’m kind of bored with just lattes. Can I get a soy mocha?

Six months ago: Oh no, I can’t even have whip cream? Fine, can I have a soy mocha no whip?

Today: I think the caffeine is making me jittery. Can I have a half-caff soy mocha no whip, please?

...Shit.