I’m winding up a contract at the end of July and in job search mode (again). I just got offered a job this afternoon and I have no idea whether to accept it or not.

It’s a job I probably would have jumped at five years ago, but at this point in my life, I’m not sure it’s the right fit.

I have two main concerns. One is that the job isn’t as secure as I’d like. I have always worked short-term contracts and I’m wrapping up a second mat leave. I swore I was going to find a permanent position this time around. Security is important to me right now because my partner and I are planning to start a family in the next few years. I was really hoping for permanency and benefits that included paid parental leave. I don’t yet know the terms of compensation (salary/benefits etc.) but I do know that this job is at a small non-profit and is only funded for the next year. They want the position to be ongoing, but that is funding dependent. I am worried that it will be very stressful on me trying to secure the funding to keep my job. It’s not the same as getting a permanent, regular position.

The second issue is that the organization is pretty unfocused in terms of this particular portfolio and really needs someone who can take a leadership role in developing their strategic planning. I’m feeling ambivalent about this and panicking about not being good enough to take on such a role. It’s a big step in my career but also one I don’t even know I want to make. In addition to job security, I was really hoping I could find a role that would be less stressful - a job with clearly defined boundaries that I could do well and leave at home at the end of the day. I’m probably capable of doing it and just having a crisis of confidence right now, but the truth is, the job would definitely require me to step out of my comfort zone in a big way.

I’ve just never turned a job offer down in my life and the thought of doing so is making me nervous. I’m also unsure if I’m making the right decision - what if I hold out for something else and that backfires and I’m unemployed for months? I’m pretty financially secure right now, so I can afford to not jump at the first thing that comes along. But the job market is tough and intensely competitive in my field. Part of me thinks I’d be crazy not to line something up while I can.

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The lack of security is a real issue. My lack of confidence in myself is another thing. It might just be misplaced fear, or it might be my gut telling me I’m really not suited to this role. I just do not know what to do.