But I am a member of a sacred religion. The religion of people who actually watch 162 games a year. The religion of people who think it's more important to know Dustin Pedroia's batting average than their credit scores. The religion of people who see absolutely nothing trashy about tattooing a B on the back of your neck.

And on this, the most opening of days, I have chosen a holiday name.

Let's go Red Sox, love love love love love that dirty water!