I spent all day in bed today because my sciatica is killing me. I can no longer tell if the pain from my back is running down into my knee or if the pain in my knee is running up into my back. I can't sleep on my right side and I swear my right butt cheek is higher than my left from all the spasmed muscles. So I have reached the bottom of Squalor Gulch. I have ONE pair of clean underwear left, because I couldn't lift anything or bend over today, let alone take 9+ loads of laundry all the way to the basement and back again. I can't empty the dishwasher. I poured dish soap over the pile of dishes in the sink and spritzed 'em with the thingy. (I was worried about a smell in here and was convinced that this was the end, that something fungal had started under the floorboards and was about to take over, but then I limped out into the hall with the dog and found that the smell started out there, so somebody is having a very pungent dinner tonight.) I can't even take clothes to the cleaners Mon because I have to be in the dentist's chair at 9 am having my crown installed. There's no way around it: I am now officially so gross that no one will love me and all my attempts at adulting are Permanent Fatal Errors.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go lie down with a heating pad because even sitting in to type this is painful. Don't go down the road I did, people. Don't go to the bottom of Squalor Gulch.