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I have too much time at work

This was inspired by xeos this morning. It still needs some tweaking but I wanted to have something to show for my workday, so. My boss is gonna be excited.

This is also a peace offering for Snacks, who took offense the last time I posted a song.


There are a lot of rough patches, feel free to make suggestions.

Baby Got Flapjacks

Oh. my. god. Becky. look at that fluff. It is so. big!
It looks like it’s for one of those guys' girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those pancake guys?
They only eat it because it looks like total diabetic shock, 'kay?
I mean, that fluff, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean— CARBS. Look!
It’s just so….stacked!


I like big fluff and I cannot lie
You other breakfasts can’t deny
When a waitress walks by with that golden butter taste
You want to stuff it all in your face
It’s so YUM! Gonna call out your bluff
‘Cause you notice that you’re getting stuffed
Feeling tight in the jeans I'm wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop swearing
Oh baby, I wanna get the syrup pitcher
And Instagram your picture
My dietician tried to warn me
But that fluff you got makes me so hungry
Ooh, I always succumb
You say you wanna get in my tumz?
Well, feed me, feed me
'Cause I ain't that average foodie
I've seen them waffle fascists
To hell with molasses
Syrup's sweet, wet,
Got that taste that you can’t forget
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat cakes are the thing
Take the average breakfast and ask him that
They gotta pack much stack
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your pancake got the fluff? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to slice it! Slice it!
Slice that healthy fluff!

Pancakes got stacked!I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm eatin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get it home
And ugh, double butter, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout waffles
'Cause spongey squares are made for fossils
I want 'em real thick and fluffy
So find that fluffy double
Eats-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that crumble
So I'm watchin' diet videos
Knock-kneed bimbos eatin' like crows
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my breakfast like Paula Deen shows
A word to the thick syrup sisters, I wanna eat ya
I won't drop or dip ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna eat
Till the break of dawn
Pancakes got it goin' on
A lot of wimps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to eat it and beat it
And I'd rather overdo and chew
'Cause my appetite is long, and it's strong
And I'm down to get the bingeing on
So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah)
If you wanna go brunch in my Mercedes (Yeah!)
Then grab your plate! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Pancakes got stacked!

So your girlfriend doesn’t want ‘em,
Complains every time you got ‘em
But Mrs Butterworth ain’t never taught ‘em
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got fluff, hun
You can do butter or syrup,
But please don't lose that fluff
Some brothers wanna play that “paleo" role
And tell you that the fluff ain't gold
So they toss it in a box and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says they make you fat
Well I ain’t got a problem with that!
'Cause the cost is small and the taste is kickin'
And the syrup is stickin'
To the crepes and crumpets in magazines:
You ain't what I need!
Give me that batter, and don’t splatter
Scrambled eggs and bacon don’t matter
Some knucklehead tried to diss
'Cause his didn’t put them on his list
They’re mine but he tries to bite 'em
But if he does I’ll fight ‘im
So ladies, if the fluff is round,
And you want an Aunt Jemima throwdown,
And kick them hungry thoughts
Pancakes got stacked!
Pancakes got stacked!

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