Help me with my feels about a breakup (not mine).

Back story: Exactly 3 years ago now, I started Swing Dancing. Swing dancing is an odd niche hobby that people get *really* intense about (this is important to the story). In my very first class I met a couple and we became fast friends. Over the course of a few months we had a little friend group going - 6 of us - that would dance and hang out together *all the time*. I would spend close to 3-5 nights a week with these people. This lasted for about 18 months

The couple in question was googley eyed in love - and by the time I had met them they had been together almost 3 years. They seemed to have solid communication and supported each other. I even helped him plan his proposal to her and also organized a champagne toast especially for them afterwards with a whole bunch of their friends.


So skip ahead to the last 8 months or so. It was always clear that she was more into becoming a badass dancer than him - he was more into the hanging out and the social community aspect of it all. So she started to seriously partner with another dude - who in mine and many others opinions is a total Man-Baby. He has ALL THESE FEELINGS that everyone else needs to accommodate but he feels totally justified in being a total jackass to everyone else if he’s in a bad mood or doesn’t like you. But he’s a good dancer and is very committed to “getting good”.

Obviously, you can probably guess where this is going - She recently dumped her fiance (whom I love) for this dude. She and her ex-fiance have a car, a dog and have been living together for the better part of six years together. It’s a mess.


People break up. That I’m okay with that. People break up for less than ideal circumstances - I can deal with that. But what ISN’T okay with me is now the ex-fiance has basically lost not only his relationship but essentially his whole social circle. Swing dance communitites are intense - after that first 18 months I decided to pull back from the intense a bit while still being very involved because I don’t like having all my social life in one basket and I wanted to nuture other relationships. But these two drank the kool-aid and ALL their recent friendships are tied up within it . The Ex-Fiance is a teacher, volunteer coordinator and all-around nice and level headed dude in a community that can be kinda kooky krazy sometimes. But he’s removed himself completely from everything as a result of this breakup - both she and the Man-Baby are also teachers and organizers and so he would be forced to ALWAYS see them together if he stuck around. I get it.


I’m going to miss seeing him around. I’m going to really miss dancing with him and goofing around. And it really pisses me off that the new couple basically gets to just have everything be exactly as it was even though, in essence, they are the ones who behaved poorly (I’m pretty sure that she cheated on him with Man Baby and that was the catalyst). I haven’t been around for 6 months ish because I fell in love and have been busy with a new boyfriend, so I haven’t seen them - but they were such a strong couple. I can’t help but feel that since the ex-fiance didn’t have the same goal of becoming a “great dancer” was the biggest riff (I know that’s not all of it - they had probably been having issues for awhile - but I remember hearing the ex-fiance remark that she was spending A LOT of time at the studio).


Basically I feel really horrible for the ex-fiance, and am going to miss him. I’ve lost a whole bunch of respect for her and the Man-Baby has become more insufferable because from the beginning of their partnership he had a crush on her and now got what he wanted and it has boosted his ego to annoying proportions. BOOOOO to everything. I’ve never had so many feels about another couples breakup - first time for everything.