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I just did something that I can't take back and I'm scared.

I just posted this on my Facebook:

I need to make a confession. I'm a hoarder. I've been suffering from depression and anxiety for at least a decade, but it got really bad over the last couple of years. My housekeeper was helping me keep things decent, but she quit about a year ago, and things went to shit. I started back on anti-depressents a few months ago and I've been trying to get rid of stuff, but today I have to move. I have a bunch of boxes packed, but I was too embarrassed to ask anyone to come to my house and see how bad it was. But while I'm strong enough to get E's mattress and dresser into the truck alone, I suddenly realized that there is no way I'll be able to get my mattress in there, let alone get it up to the second floor of my new place. I'm only moving two blocks away. If anyone is willing to come help me without judgment or lectures, but with compassion, I'd be grateful.


Now I'm equally terrified that people will read it and not want to help and that people will read it and come to help. And I hate crying in front of people, but I can't stop right now.

ETA: Seven people are on their way. I'm humbled and sobbing.

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