It’s been a while coming. I went on a weeklong camping trip starting two weeks ago and thought a lot about my relationship. We don’t really like the same things. But what it really came down to was he has so many restrictions on what he’s willing to give someone, and I reached my breaking point. My sticking points were that I want to build a life and a partnership with someone who loves me and who I love back. I want to share meaningful experiences and have fun together.
He’s happy where we are (were) in our relationship. We’d see each other once a week, hang out, and have (admittedly ahhhmazing) sex. He never wants to live with someone again, and he doesn’t ever want to be in love or say he loves someone or something like that... The details/specifics were unclear. But love (saying it, being in it, whatever) was off the table. This was in addition to several other “I will never...”s.
He said he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to give me what I want and what I deserve. He apologized for that. It’s a combination of some terrible past relationships and his upbringing.
It was terribly sad. We hugged each other a few times, I cried onto his shoulder, and we were nice to each other. We even made some jokes, and talked like normal. It might have been easier if I’d been mad or angry, because there were moments it felt good—like we were still together.
We’ve decided to stay in touch. To stay in each other’s lives. He thinks I’m an amazing person and a wonderful woman—he just can’t give me what I want. And he says that what I want I fully deserve and it’s absolutely something I should want and have someday. But he can’t give it to me.
So that’s over. And I’m sad about it. But I’ll be ok. We were both honest, and respectful, and even kind. In the end, it just didn’t work. Which was sad.