And the appointment is in an hour an a half!!
After last friday's fiasco I decided that enough was enough. My friends had asked me a while ago if maybe therapy wasn't a good idea to which I said that it certainly was but I had no time for it right now. I have this all week off to de-stress before starting my job next week so I have time.
What do I even say though??
"Hi so I've been getting more and more depressed over the course of the last six months (or really two years, tbh), stress from graduating has made me prone to panic attacks but really the stress isn't the problem. I had a whole score of issues as a teenager and I fixed those myself so I can pretty much handle a bunch of things with the right support system. My self-esteem is plummeting, I've been starting to wish I could just vanish again and I'm wondering whether my boyfriend is right and I'm just 'victimising' myself and complaining too much rather than 'buckling up' or whether maybe also my relationship might have the tiniest of hands in the way I've been feeling these days."
I guess that about sums it up.
I'm so nervous. And it's such a beautiful day out. And it's my day off. And I'm giddy from all these three things. What if she doesn't take me seriously because the tension makes me seem really happy and hyper when that is actually not what I'm feeling??
EDIT: Okay so it turns out it was just an introduction interview! She asked why I'd come over and I told her I was spiralling into very negative internalized state of mind and that I wanted to be more confident again and wanted to find out if my relationship was affecting my state of mind. She said she wasn't sure if they could help with the relationship thing because that's complex but she could help with the self issues. And that it was good that I'd stopped by considering my past issues. I'm kind of relieved that she didn't think I was whining or overreacting!
Thanks for the support GT boys and girls! :D