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Welcome To The Bitchery

I just received a call on my cellphone from an overseas number, +1(300) 720-092 if you're wondering. It was a scam attempt, and it was ridiculous.

The caller was clearly Indian, and English was definitely not his first language. He knew my last name, and was calling to inform that I was going to have action taken against me by the Australian Embassy, and asked if I had received a letter or phone call from them. I confirmed that I had not, because I was finding the whole thing really amusing and wanted to see how far I could get before they realised I was onto them.


He advised me that I needed to speak to his senior officer about the case, put me on hold, complete with hold music, and then someone picked up.

Introducing "Officer Marvin". Officer Marvin asked me, also in his very thick Indian accent, if I had a pen and paper handy, and without prompt gave he my official case number, his officer's badge number. He told me I hadn't completed form 1221 to confirm my immigration status, which is required for all immigrants to Australia "from all the countries, Mrs. PewPewPew, even the Gulf countries".


He asked me why I hadn't completed the form, and I responded that I hadn't realised I was supposed to. He said I had two options, I could either complete the form, or go to court. Which would I like?

Me: I don't mind.

OM: What? You have to choose. What do you want to do?

Me: I really don't mind.

OM: You want to suck my cock?

Me: *bursts out laughing*

OM: I think so from your voice you knew from beginning, no? How long have you been in Australia? You are from there only no?


Me: Yeah dude, I knew. You need to find a new job that doesn't involve scaring new immigrants into giving you their information or money. You're pathetic, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

OM: ...*very quietly* I know Ma'am, I'm sorry. I know it's bad. So sorry... *still talking*


Me: *hangs up*

I wish I had mentioned NOT FUCKING TELLING STRANGE WOMEN TO SUCK YOUR COCK WHILE SCAM CALLING THEM, but I was pretty pissed off and needed to hang up.


PS: Bonus points if you know what know the tag is quoting.

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