"Any chicanery going on will be shut down by me with a quickness."

I am one day away from boarding a plane to California to see my best friend in the whole world for the first time in five years. I will not have my work laptop. These grown ass people need to get their shit together and not fuck up my team while I'm gone. I am serious- I NEED STRESS RELIEF PEOPLE DO NOT TEST ME NOW. I'm trying to hire someone and working on evaluations for my whole 18 person team and I have two people now on short term disability due to health stuff and the holidays and a mountain of scheduled days off is coming. Put your business panties on and get shit done.