A long-winded one so that I can get closure. Let me try to sum it up:
Before the current Hopeful there was an Ex Hopeful. I have posted vaguely about him before when I first got posting privileges but I never got into detail about him. Anyway, we never met in person as he was someone I got in contact with through Craigslist (yes shady I know but it is what it is). During the time he and I were "talking" he lied to me about his living situation with an ex, he "broke up" with me 3 times and each time he came back with an apologetic text because I guess he couldn't gather the courage to call, and he says things that are cold and there are other little microaggressions...
Sometimes when I start something new with someone or start "talking" to someone it is hard for me to see manipulative (sometimes abusive) and toxic behavior. Although I've been through many abusive relationships in one way or another, I have tried to start fresh with other people and go into it with a positive outlook. I'm not going to put on here what I texted him, but I just want to post this to remind myself and maybe someone else that it takes a lot of guts to say what you need to say to someone so you can feel better or move on. I've grown a lot in the past 2 years in dealing with my past relationships and other issues. I have to constantly re-train my brain to not have negative thoughts about certain things.
I think this was part of reason why I've been feeling kinda off the past 2 days or so. I'm going to consider this a personal victory and try to continue to change my thought process, as hard as it is.