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I keep thinking about joining OKC again.

But then I don't, because reasons.

1) The creeps, they burn. I am too sensitive right now to deal with creeps.

2) I am too old for that site. I am 43 and I want a genuine monogamous adult relationship. Dudes who are age appropriate on that site always want women significantly younger. I also can not handle the cougar hunters.


3) I am in the midst of SAD and doing my damndest to control anxiety and rage, and remain emotionally stable. We ALL know how anxiety and rage inducing that site is.

4) In conclusion, it will be horrible and I will hate it and it will destabilize my life, which I can't afford right now.


(But wtf...there's that little kernal of hope that maybe this time will be different. I want someone to cuddle with and watch movies and generally be a positive addition to my life, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT WON'T HAPPEN FROM THAT DAMN SITE.)

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