I'm doing the thing, guys. The thing I KNEW I was going to do. And told myself not to do. AND I'M STILL DOING IT. I'm like Ubertrout with horrible junky snackfoods. CAN'T STOP.
(Side note: You'll always be Ubertrout to me, Mr. Big Shot Pinkham. I can't help it, it's just such a great name. Also, your candy bar post was amazing and I am proud that you now know how great Whatchamacalits truly are.)
Anyway. The thing.
I got offered a job at a top-notch school, which I eagerly accepted, as it is A. much closer to home, so the commute won't be so much of an issue, and B. a school where, as far as I can tell, you don't have to sell your soul or lie to everyone to do something innovative and/or fun for your students in your classroom. All of this is super exciting for me, and I'm really looking forward to it.
BUT I'm being a coward now, because I haven't told my students yet. They registered for next year's classes this week. So, fine, I'm helping fill out forms, all that jazz, when some of my favorite students from my favorite class call me over and whisper (badly), "Miss, are you going to be teaching English III next year?"
Them: "Because we don't want any other teachers."
Me: "You really shouldn't choose a class just because of the teacher... and I'm not going to be teaching English III..."
Them: "Couldn't you ask the principal??"
Me: "Guys.... just go with Mrs. Other Awesome Teacher, she's great, you'll like her, I like her, do the signing up thing."
So I'm starting to get 'the question' more and more as we get closer and closer, and I'm realizing (OF COURSE, BECAUSE THIS IS ME WE'RE TALKING ABOUT) that I have the internal emotional integrity of a Dairy Queen cone on a hot day when it comes to telling my students that I won't see them next year. It starts making me all weepy-feeling and I am not a weepy-feeling person generally and gahhhhhhhhhh.
And it's killing me that I won't see them! I want to go to a different school, that's a given, but I don't want to never see my kids again, I adore them even though they are one and all insane and give me headaches, and WHY AM I IN THIS JOB FOR THE LOVE OF SOMEONE DEITY-LIKE you would think I would have considered the emotional toll before getting myself into this position with these damn annoying lovable CHILDREN.
It's not really as bad as I make it out to be. I guess it never really is. Just gotta face the inevitable, bite the bullet, other appropriate aphorism.