Gas and hot water are off in my apartment. There are signs around the complex saying that gas, hot water and laundry will not be available for “several weeks.” I am livid.

I texted my landlord and told him that we were going to have to talk about heavily discounting the rent until basic services are back on. He sidestepped the question and said there’s nothing he can do until he talks with management tomorrow, which I’m guessing means I’m going to fight him for a fair rent decrease. So that’ll be fun.

In the meantime, I can’t cook food at home for the foreseeable future, and I’m going to have to take ice cold showers in November (and into December, apparently). Can I just kill EVERYONE?