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I LOVE Hallowe'en, but....

OMFG what a day.

We started at 9am, beginning to set up our animatronics. We... er, we do Hallowe’en in a BIG way. BIG. 6,000 lights, animatronics, graveyard, the whole 9 yards.

We’re setting up animatronics. And setting up. And setting up.

And the contractor is here, working on my kitchen. So the Bastard has to have bro-chat with the contractor.


We get lunch and start putting animatronics outside.

This year he wants to set the animatronics with a remote control - which is a good thing, because altho they are all “sound activated” that’s really a bunch of bullshit and they don’t go off reliably so I end up clapping my hands (I have a very percussive clap) all night and my hands end up red and raw. So, remote control, yay. But that also delays the process.

I run to the grocery store as we are FINALLY FINALLY (after 3 months) going to be able to cook again in my kitchen! The entire time I am gone, the Bastard does not get anything done. He’s helping the contractor and more bro-talk time.

In the meantime, the garbage cans are STILL on the driveway, I’ve been asking him for DAYS to move them in the back yard (I pulled them out on garbage day, he can damn well take them back), my favorite door greeter isn’t put up, the restored vintage car is still in the garage, instead of on the driveway and the vampire that’s supposed to be set up in the back of the car is still in its box.


And then the circuit break starts going off and lights are out. Over and over. We finally determine it’s due to too many fog machines (we have 4) and he has to take one out of use.

And I find that: one of my favorite animatronics is not working, another is not responding to the remote control (altho it did in the house), 2 skulls are not lighting up, my greyhound skeleton is not working (altho it did when we bought it and it was kept in the house) and one my reapers isn’t working, altho it did 2 days ago.


The door greeter never gets set up. The car won’t start, so no car, no vampire. I forget to set up music.

At 5pm I finally run inside to get in my costume, wig and makeup. And proceed to freeze my ass off.


We get good crowds and great response to the house tho.

THEN I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY YARD. One family let their little one walk across the yard toward my front door! My yard is ringed with pumpkin lights, it’s an obvious barrier. The yard is covered with expensive animatronics, extension cords and the remote cords. What. The. Hell. People. One guy walked into the yard to pose gangsta style. W.T.F.


Once done, we have to take all the animatronics into the garage because no way am I leaving them out. I didn’t eat until nearly 10pm tonight. I’m cold, tired and cranky as hell.

And can’t wait to do it again next year.

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