I swear I do...
But today? He came home, found a box on the stoop (addressed to me!) opened it and saw all his Christmas presents.
When I asked him why he opened it, he said, "Well I didn't know I wasn't supposed to open it!"
1. Is it addressed to you?
2. Is it 3 weeks before Christmas?
3. Is there any possible fuckin' reason in the whole wide world why your wife might have ordered something 3 weeks before Christmas, addressed it to herself, and not told you about it? Any reason at all?!
Here's the kicker: This morning, he told me to make sure I didn't open anything addressed to him that came in the mail today as it might be a present for me.