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I understand someone at the Oscars said that we should call our parents and not get irritated and express our love (something like that). I get his point and I do try to exercise loving patience because my parents are aging pretty rapidly. BUT I'LL BET GOOD MONEY THAT J.K. SIMMONS DOESN'T DO TECH SUPPORT FOR HIS PARENTS.

My parents are on a trip, carrying the tablets they bought against my advice (because I don't know how that brand works). My Dad calls me to ask how the Voice command feature works and after a couple of tries, I realize that it must not be enabled. So I hang up, look up how to do it and then call back to land right in the middle of one of their squabbles where they both refuse to get on the phone because "you should do it," "No, you should do it." I finally get my Mom on the phone and this transpires.


Me: You need to hit the "menu" button twice. It's the little button at the bottom of the device.

Mom: Well, I see "camera," I see "chrome", I see . . .

Me: No Mom, not on the screen, on the little white frame around the screen.

Mom: You mean on the keyboard? [she had to have pressed the button to get the keyboard]


OG: just run your finger across the bottom front of the device and see if you can feel a bump."

Mom: "Can you check my email account from your office?"

OG: "???????. I can, but the tablet is right in your hand?"

Mom: "Well, I just gave it to your Dad to find the button."

OG: "Isn't he right next to you? Are you not able to get Wifi?"

Mom: "No we got the wifi. A nice guy showed us how to do it. I just need you to check my email because the laptop started acting up before we left home"


OG: "??????"

Mom: "I need to see an email that XX sent me, but I had to turn off the laptop before I left."


OG: "Why can't you just check the email on your tablet?"

Mom: "I don't see it on there. Can't you just check my email for me?"

OG: "The email doesn't live in your computer. It exists independently of any machine." If its not on your tablet, XX probably hasn't sent it yet."


[because I know how she is, I check her email account]

Mom: "Well he said he sent it, so I just want to make sure."

OG: "There's no email from XX that I can see."

Mom: "well I guess that's another thing I have to deal with when I get home. These machines are so unreliable"


OG: Mom, I have to get back to work. Love you!

Illustration for article titled I love my mother, I love my mother, I love my mother

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