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I love my shiny new phone

Illustration for article titled I love my shiny new phone

I've finally joined the 21st century and gotten a phone that is not a dumb phone.

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My shiny new phone tracks my steps and tells me that I don't walk enough on weekends. I walked 3. 2 miles around my island tonight because I don't want to disappoint my shiny new phone, who I love unconditionally, and who has nothing but my best interests in mind. It took pretty pictures too!

Noodle bless technology.

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