I’m trying to figure out how to talk to you guys right now. When anything potentially life-changing happens, my first instinct is to try and tell it as a funny story so that the reception is good. This includes things that really aren’t amusing. I think I picked that up from my mom.

So, telling it exactly like it is: my therapist, who I’ve been doing trauma work with for the last 2.5 years just told me that I probably have Aspergers (I know that’s not used in the US anymore with DSM-V, but we’re still on an older version of the ICD here). I’m not sure how I feel about it, and I’m not sure how I should feel about it. (It also doesn’t help that I’m in the middle of switching SSRIs — so everything is giving me FEELINGS)

When trying to research about autism in women, I keep finding either lists that are about as helpful as the side-effect listings on my antidepressants (one that’s passed around a lot has a lot of things like “she either raises her hand all the time in class or never” — thanks list! Those things are the EXACT OPPOSITE OF EACH OTHER) or a lot of testimonials from people who haven’t been formally diagnosed.

I’ve long suspected that I’ve had some disability masked by my intelligence (I feel like an asshole writing that), but this isn’t what I expected. I’ve already talked with my case worker about starting the paperwork to go get a neuropsych work-up, but while I wait for that I feel... discombobulated. I want to arm myself with enough knowledge so that make sure they get it right.

The thing that’s breaking my heart is that when I read through comments on these pages, it seems like a huge percentage of women who have diagnoses have them because they’ve had sons who get diagnosed on the spectrum.

I don’t want to get my hopes up that there’s a name for the nameless thing that’s been wrong with me because I’ve been reading fuzzy descriptions.


Does anyone know of any good resources on autism in women?