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I made a thing! For the dinner party with Pregnant Friend!

Foods! The one on the left was Pregnant Human Safe, with Safeway Three Chiz Blend, the one on the right is topped with blue chiz. Mini Blue chiz and bacon and duxelle tarts or Italian chiz and bacons and duxelles tarts

The pastry dough is the same recipe as last time; a ratio of 1 cup flour: 1/2 cup butter/shortening: 3 tablespoons of water: 1/2 teaspoon salt if not using salted butter.


Cut fat into flour until you've got what resembles loose sand, squiz a handful and it'll clump then fall apart. Add water until acorn sized lumps form when you're stirring in the water, about three tablespoons of ice cold water. Grab the dough into a single mass and mash it into the side of the bowl. You'll get a handful of solid dough and about half the dough in sandy straggles, mash the stragglers into the side of the bowl until you have a cohesive ball of dough. Divide the dough into six round balls. To roll out the dough, place the dough in a gallon sized ziplock bag, unzipped. Take a cutting board, and place it on the dough ball. Lean on the cutting board until the dough is as flattened as you can, then take the cutting board off and roll it to about...3/8ths of an inch thick? The dough should be a vaguely round disc of about the diameter of a soft ball. Fold the dough into a muffin tin to make a cup, repeat with the remaining dough balls. While the dough is being made, the filling should be cooking.

Take a pint of mushrooms, wash them, and pulse them in the food processor until they resemble very coarse breadcrumbs. Toss them in a pan on medium heat with a tablespoon of sherry ( I use cooking sherry, cuz I don't really drink sherry IRL) and a tablespoon of butter. Allow the mushrooms to cook down until dark and earthy smelling and almost powdery. Place in a bowl.

Take a vidalia onion the size of a baseball and dice it fine. Caramelize the onions in a glug of olive oil and another splash of wine. Freak out that you've burnt them and add water to the pan, realize that the onions are now at the burnt caramel stage of caramelized onions, recognise that you've done good. Allow most of the water to cook out again, then add the onions to the bowl, mixing the mushrooms and onions thouroughly.

Dice three slices of thick cut bacon, cook in the microwave for about 3 minutes, or until everything is all crispy. Remove the bacon from the fat, dump into the mushroom mix, and mix in the bacon.


Fill each pastry cup with the bacon and mushrooms and onions. Top each cup with either the Three Chiz blend or a medium thick slice of blue chiz. Bake for 20 minutes, or until the pastry is golden brown.

Shove into your face hole, before feasting on slices of medium well london broil (My human overcooks meat. I shall never forgive him. For this he must die.) smothered in mushroom gravy, and mashed potatoes with cream chiz. Mmmm.


ETA: I took the pic with The Dastardly Mr.'s phone, and moved to the computator for writing the recipe. There was just no way in hell I was gonna write all this text on a tiny goddamn phone keyboard.

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