I finally did it.

I made an appointment with the mental health center just a few blocks from where I work. They can't fit me in until the 22nd.

I can make it that long, right?

I have internet-diagnosed myself with rapid cycling bipolar II and started a depressed phase a few days ago. I have been almost an hour late to work the past two days because it's so hard to get out of bed. My house is full of squalor because I can't seem to pick up my dishes and garbage. I really need to buy some farm stuff (like, really really need it) but I don't have the time. I'm working all day tomorrow, then I wanted to watch the Olympics, then I work 12 hours on Saturday, too. On Monday I leave my house around 4am and won't be back until Thursday lunch time and I'm really nervous about it. I'm staying at this shady small town motel. I only see my husband an hour a day because it's tax season and he's busy. My mom really needs to go shopping with me and she won't stop bothering me about it. We have a deadline (one year from when their house burned down, which is like next week) to get the shopping finished. I have an insane amount of normal work to do at the office, none of which I have time for because they have me traveling for the next six days straight.

These crazy work hours are eating my life. I don't have a lot of life left for eating when I'm depressed.