With all these stories of Photoshop wins lately, I have realized it has all gotten totally out of hand. I simply cannot believe how many hideously unattractive women are being paid to call themselves 'models,' yet still manage to be so gross and human-like, the publishing industry is forced to pump hundreds of thousands of dollars a year into Photoshopping to make them look decent. OUTRAGE.

I have decided I can no longer standby and watch.I must help the modeling and fashion industry transform as many models from hideous blobby wenches into truly perfect visions of beauty.

I started with supermodel and Sports Illustrated cover girl Kate Upton.

This is how poor Kate is normally seen in real life.


Awful, just awful. What a brave woman to go out into the world looking like this.

Fortunately, I have used my superior Photoshop skills to fix everything that is wrong with Kate Upton's ugly hideous body that everyone hates.




I have gotten rid of all Kate's hideous natural proportions and given her all the truly beautiful features that are the only things in the world people actually find attractive, like pin thin upper arms and a hip that looks like someone to a meat cleaver to a big part of it. SEXXXXXY!!

And of course, now she has a lovely thigh gap. BECAUSE THIGH GAP OMG WANT!!!

You are welcome, everyone!