I’m exhausted and angry. I caught the flu and it hit me hard. I’m kicking myself for not getting the shot even though I get sick even with the shot (my immune system is garbage). I tried to take a bath but it needs scribbing. Luckily I’d bought a power scrubber since my shoulder injury doesn’t allow me to manually clean most things any more, so I used what little energy I could muster to clean the tub—then the showerhead decides to break while I was rinsing the tub and douses one of my legs. I just gave up and walked away, but of course I tripped on a cable and got an eyelash in my eye on my way back to the couch.

Oh and thanks to this flu, I have to miss physical therapy today (not that I’ve been able to do my exercises anyway). Plus I’m officially out of sick-time/PTO and won’t be paid for these 2 days I’ve missed (and I doubt I’ll be better by tomorrow). So thanks to my stupid immune system and parents sending sick kids to school, I’ll be out at least $300 on my next check just when my student loan payment doubled.

Honestly this is the last thing I needed. I was hoping to help my mom out with legal fees like I’d promised (she’s trying to apply for a change of status before her TPS expires), but I have zero spare money between buying a house last summer and all the health crap that got dropped on me this month. She called me to ask if I could send her anything this weekend, and I just felt like I let her down.

I’m so tired of everything going to shit the second after I get my crap in order. It happens literally every time I accomplish a milestone: Get into college? My family moves to Texas and we have to put my dog down. Graduate college? My dad is detained by ICE and put into deportation proceedings (which he luckily wins). Get my first full-time job and an apartment in a safe neighborhood (and dog)? My FIL needs a quadruple bypass plus 1-2 years recovery, so we have to quit our jobs and break our lease to take over his small business (and lose $15k in savings in the process). Buy a house? Trump ends TPS and now my mom is at risk of deportation.

I’m just very tired of it all.

(Disclaimer: I’ve been in therapy, I have mental health issues, and I’m not suicidal. I’m just really frustrated and tired.)