Facebook, the place where you can guarantee the shit will hit the fan.

I have been an adult adviser for the local chapter of a youth group that I was once a member of not too many years ago. Its not an easy task, even though I am not directly responsible for any of these young women I still want to be a good "role model". I work very hard to explain to them the consequences of their words and actions. I was their age not that long ago and because of that I have more credibility than the other older adults, sometimes I do at least.

I have been trying my best to stay out of a Facebook conversation the last few days. A few of my girls and their friends are going back and forth on when its okay to call someone a slut. I had no intentions of intervening, I know these young woman very well and know they would never be the ones passing judgment, but they unfortunately don't see a problem with other people calling their classmates names. The argument came down to, well if they don't want other people calling them sluts they shouldn't act like sluts.

Again I had no intentions of intervening, because although none of the parties involved really understood what was wrong with their words, their friends were at least in the right ballpark. Then today when I log in I see a new person has decided to enter the conversation, a former adult adviser who should know how to choose her words better.

Name calling is Bullying. However there is a difference between acting and dressing with confidence and not. If they are not then feel sorry for them they obviously are screeming for attention wich is sad. Think about what they are missing in life if they have to be that inapropriately dressed. So you can choose to be nice or just dont say anything at all,walk away and let them be themselves. One day one way or another they will figure it out:)

Phew, that wasn't too horrible. Still shaming but I've heard worse things from her, but she was able to control her words. Bullet dodged. This was the response from one of my girls.

I know it's not good ! But people are labeling other people who they don't like and everyone does it but how can you explain a girl who acts sleazy well the word for that is slut or other words like whore hoe or whatever ! I do understand that it's not okay but girls don't always have to impress people by wearing booty shorts or shirts that can see your boobs! They choose to wear those clothes so it's like there choosing to be called name but girls can dress the way they want but they seriously take it to far or they act like every guy can have them and that's how are generation is seriously defined ! Is how people dress and act and what all they do! When we can do better then that!

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and a response from former adviser

It all starts at home. Maybe they arent being taught the difference. Thats why in Rainbow we are to set and make a good impression and a great set of standarss in hopes that we rub off a bit and help others. Just keep being your beautiful,polite,happy,giving self and pray for he ones that are lost

This is where I need ya'lls help. I want to send this young lady a message privately about this. I am thinking of sending her a link to this. If you can think of anything else that might be helpful I would be grateful. I'm just angry right now and am having trouble forming words into coherent sentences.

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And as a thank you for listening to me ramble I give you cat gifs

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wow that was really long, sorry!

Thank you for your ideas its helped me clarify what I was thinking and put into something a little bit more coherent, instead of sending her the article I decided to pull a couple of quotes from the first article and another, without linking them because I kind of want to keep my jezebel indentity separate from youth presence. I'd love to hear what anyone has to say before I send it off.

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Dear *****

The comments you made yesterday have made me very concerned. Even if I know you're not the one calling other young women sluts, its still bullying if you think the ones calling names have a "good" reason to do so. Condoning that kind of behavior is problematic because you're taking sides who says that someone who behaves differently than you deserves ridicule and scorn. Behavior that might not even be true, and even if it is true, why does she deserve ridicule for it? Why does that behavior make her less than you and your friends and make her deserve the title they have given her.

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Here are a few things to think about.

1.There is no true definition for the term "slut," meaning that there is no one, true meaning. Like, there isn't a set number of men that a woman has to sleep with in order to qualify for the description. It could be one guy—it could even be no guys. There are cases that virgins have been called sluts because they "acted slutty." You see, the notion is completely subjective. Everybody perceives sluttiness and whorey-ness differently. Some people think that the way you dress—like revealing too much skin—or inspire certain kinds of thoughts in men are sluts.

2.)We as society hold men to a different standard, their exploits are just a product of their maleness, or their inability to be tamed. We don't afford most women such a depth of character. We just call it sad.

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3.) Slut-shaming definitely qualifies as bullying. Teenage girls who get slut-shamed in high school are committing suicide, unable to handle the horrendous, unrelenting harassment, and being told that they are "less than."

Are any of those legitimate reason to throw that word around? No they're not.

Oh and just to cover my ass incase someone high up thinks this is mainpage worthy. Don't even go there.