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Here's the backstory: A little over three years ago I was involved in a friends-with-benefits situation with a guy (let's call him Jack) who I really liked as a friend. He was really fun to hang out with, and I enjoyed spending time with him - even non-sexy time. I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship, and the friendship/intimacy with Jack really helped heal me. I will always be grateful for that. The relationship I had just gotten out of was an open relationship, but I hadn't started my dalliance with Jack until after the Ex and I broke up. However, when Ex found out about the relationship he cornered Jack at a bar and confronted him in a most embarrassing way. I wasn't there, but when I found out some of the things Ex was saying I was mortified. Here's the rub: Jack was at the bar with his boyfriend (let's call him Peter). I knew Jack was in a relationship with Peter, but their's was an open relationship. Apparently Peter didn't know their's was an open relationship. So, naturally, the confrontation between Ex and Jack caused a bit of a problem between Jack and Peter. Part of the condition for Peter not ending their relationship was Jack was never to see or speak to me again. Jack accepted these terms and cut me completely out of his life.


I really regretted the loss of his friendship, but it really hurt me that he cut me out so easily. I moved on, and shortly thereafter met Mr. Zbornak, with whom I have a great realationship.

Here's the nowstory: About a year after the above incident happened he sent me a gchat message. Just saying Hi. Then I started getting gchats and facebook chats every couple of months. This has been going on for two years now. I have never responded. Things kind of went into overdrive today. He sent me a gchat, to which I did not respond. He then kept sending messages about how sorry he is, how he really misses my friendship, he wants to see me so he can apologize in person, etc. I finally responded to him saying "listen, you are the one who cut me out of your life. You made this bed, not me." His response is that Peter has been out of his life for two years, and he just wants to make things right. Ugh. Part of me wants to tell him to please never contact me again, but part of me really does miss his friendship. I could talk to him about anything and everything with no fear of judgement. He's one of the most "real" people I've ever known. My other reservation is that I know Mr. Zbornak would not be pleased if I started chatting with Jack again (he knows exactly what my relationship was with Jack, and they have met on several occasions, but they aren't exactly friend material). Mr. Zbornak remains in contact with guys he has dated in the past, but for some reason I think he would be slightly hostile to a rekindling of the friendship between me and Jack. And I would absolutely have to tell Mr. Zbornak if I decided to start talking to Jack again. Jeezus, what should I do? Help me!!

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