Because at least then I know exactly what it is. There's no waffling "is this a migraine or is it just a headache?" "Do I need to take something right away or will it go away?" Plus they're usually less painful, although I feel significantly more spacey. That might be the result of taking medicine right away, though.

Of course it happened on a day that I had a HUGE breakthrough in therapy. I am a self-judger. I've been buried under the weight of self-judgment my entire life. I have never been able to give myself credit for anything truly well done, or take pride in myself. Today I really clearly saw that dynamic...and...let it go.

I wish I had a way to communicate how monumental this change is. Maybe someday I'll have the words for it. Suffice it to say that it is a seismic shift and it's wonderful. But I also have a lot of internal conflict, because self-judgment is a kind of self-protection. As I let that go, I have this brand new vulnerable part that's coming out. No wonder I got a migraine today.