Because I desperately want to like her and it gets harder and harder everyday.

Some background: I love The Fault in our Stars. As a young woman with a chronic and debilitating illness [that also requires chemotherapy] that book is deeply personal to me. I think Hazel Grace (the protagonist) is one of the best female heroines in 21st century young adult literature. I understand her story on a level that I really can't with most other characters. I see myself in her.

When I heard about the movie adaptation I was really skeptical, but I trust John and since he has been so involved in the process I had a small speck of hope that Hollywood wouldn't destroy this thing I loved. I thought "This could be it! Between TFIOS and How to Train your Dragon 2 we could actually see some positive portrayals of PWDs in film!" But then they cast the movie.

I was tepid. Woodley's previous performances were nothing for me to get jazzed about. Secret Life was trash (yes I watched a few episodes) and even the Descendants didn't leave me impressed. But I still held on. I am not really one to look up celebs personal stuff so I didn't really see anything about her off screen persona until Divergent came out, and that when my heart sank.

She is just so genuinely unlikable to me. I am sure there are lots of people who love her faux "earth mother" act, but I can't help but notice that is all it is - an act. It is really hard to listen to her drone on about the importance of living a "100% natural life" while slathered in brand name cosmetics*. Her weird exoticising of "eastern philosophy" is gross (a lot of white ladies I know IRL do this. They mix different cultural elements from all over Asia and pretend to be enlightened, I don't like it).

And the nail in the coffin is this. She has officially boarded the "I'm not a feminist because I don't hate men train". Listen, it is fine to not want to associate with feminism. A lot of women (especially non- white cishet women) don't feel the feminist movement is for them. And they have damn good reason. More power to them. But don't use MRA bullshit to justify your resistance.

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Here is the deal I am not the kind of person who can block it out if I really don't like an artist as a person. It is rarely ever an issue because I avoid learning about that kind of stuff. I want to like her, because I desperately want to like this movie. So I am going to actively avoid any interviews with her from now on because I don't want to look at Hazel Grace and be irritated.

*I am not trying to start shit. I wear fucking Covergirl for Christ's sake. I just think if you play the vegan trumpet all day long you better commit.