Saturday night, I met up with a dude from OKCupid who I’d been chatting with, kind of against my better judgment. He picked a bar kind of last minute and it was one that’s not super conducive to a first date (people go there to play arcade games so it’s loud).
Anyway, we get beers, and we’re just chatting casually. At one point I say something is “the whitest thing I’ve ever heard” in jest and he’s like...”That’s kind of racist, no?” No. No sir it is not. This is about the point where I decide there will be no second date but I am Intrigued and have to know how deep this nonsense goes.
So then SOMEHOW we started talking about politics (he was a Bernie supporter, obvs, which I should have realized from the pretty consistent mansplaining) and he said “I just don’t like Hillary Clinton, she lacks charisma.” I point out that this argument is rooted in sexism and he of course pulls out that old Elizabeth Warren chestnut, which I point out is bullshit. I also called out the fact that Bernie’s surrogates consistently use the argument that women are “voting with their vaginas” and that he has an obligation to call them out for it and hasn’t.
Then we meander over to how he feels “alienated” from feminist spaces even though he is TOTALLY A FEMINIST. NO SEXISM HERE. And I explain that men are often excluded from feminist spaces simply because we continuously have to explain things that to us are obvious, and we’re tired of having to justify our experiences to people who don’t want to believe that they’re true. He then proceeds to ask me how often I’m harassed. Like wants an actual weekly average. I point out that asking that question is akin to asking women what they’ve done to invite their own rapes, and he LITERALLY SAYS TO ME “We don’t do that.” So I give him like 50 examples, and he’s still trying to maintain that the cops “obviously have to ask questions.”
So I say, “Oh, are they required to ask teenagers why they flirted with the grown-ass man who raped them?” And he RUNS out of the bar. Like stands up and is all “I have to go” and runs away from me. This is a 36-year-old man, btw.
I have never talked to a man so committed to the idea that sexism isn’t as bad as women think it is that he is completely incapable of examining his own thoughts and behaviors and RUNS AWAY from that fact.
Anyone have any recent hilarisad dating stories?