(good news โ€” not my middle finger! because y'all know if that one were damaged I would need to flip people off ALL THE TIME)

Yeah, I was shaking up my eye makeup remover, and stupid me turned slightly which placed my hand directly in line to collide with my bathroom cabinet edge.

Yippee! Not only did I fling my hand really fucking hard right into the fucking edge of the cabinet, I had the bottle of eye makeup remover (the 6.8 oz Lancome one - no tiny bottles for me) in my hand, providing a lovely, full o' inertia thing to assist in the jamming of the tip of my finger to the cabinet.

Anyhoo, the tip of my finger is swelling and bruising, even with an icepack, and it hurts to put pressure on it.

Excuse me while I self-medicate by eating a fuckton of Starbursts.