Dammit. I love my mom, I really do.

We have never had the best relationship, but I try really hard to do whatever she wants. I spent money I didn't have on her Mother's Day present (a Kindle Fire HD, she really wanted one). I call her all the time, and pick up the phone even when she calls me 8 times in a single day. It used to drive my ex nuts because she is a controlling, manipulative (and she's bipolar) woman, and she expects everyone to kowtow to her needs.

But it's fine. I live hundreds of miles away, so I can keep her happy and keep her out of my life. I love when she visits because we get along for a week or two, and by the time we start getting in each other's faces, it's time for her to go home. It's a great situation.

But today...ugh. I call her to wish her a happy Mother's Day. I even set my alarm and got up at the butt crack of dawn to call her before she called to wake me up. She does that a lot. Anyway, she starts going on about how I need to hurry up and settle down and give her grandbabies, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I was polite, but I straight up told her:

I don't want any kids. I have never wanted kids. If I could find a doctor that would tie my tubes, I would have it done. I would make a terrible mother, and I have no maternal instinct. I will not be giving you grandbabies.


I've told her this a million times before, but I think she just got it today. She started sounding like she was crying and told me she would call me later and I should get some homework done. Now I feel really bad.

But I feel worse for my little sister...because it's coming for her next. Oh well, at least she's in a long term relationship, has a degree (she's an RN), and a stable job, and a house. I've been getting this BS since my mom turned 50, and my sister was forgiven because of nursing school, etc. Her turn now.