I was hanging out with my friends the other day, and it just reminded me of one of the things that girls do that I just don't understand, calling your friend a bitch, whore, slut, etc out of "affection". Every time one of my friends does it, I'm still kind of taken aback. I just don't get "I saw that purse in the store the other day and loved it. I can't believe you own it, you bitch" or the casual "Hey slut" as a friendly greeting.

I'm not sure if it is because I'm one of those people for which words mean something, and so I tend not to say a lot of things I don't mean. I'm not going to call somebody a bitch unless she is being one (the use of that word as an insult is a whole other topic).

It isn't that I always find in unacceptable, such as when it is used in a satirical way. I joke with my friend about her birth control pills being "whore pills", even though she is a virgin that takes them for PCOS. But, I wouldn't say to her "Come on whore, let's head to the mall". Often in the comments section here, you will see somebody mention they take birth control for medial reasons, and people will respond "You whore. We all you just want those pills so you can slut around town having consequence free sex", but then it is understood that it is a satire of the right-wing viewing of birth control and the way they seem to perceive it's use. That is much different that a dialog consisting of "My favorite movie is Top Gun", "OMG slut, that is my favorite movie too."

I understand that for some people us it as a way to "take back" the words. But, I believe that taking part in a Slut Walk event is different than calling your friend a slut. And, in general, I just don't know if I completely understand the concept of "taking back" a word. Though, this could be because I am a heterosexual, middle class, white female so there are relatively few historically negative words directed my way.

Sometimes I'm concerned that I'm being over-sensitive, so I while I avoid using words like slut, whore, bitch as "friendly" words for my friends, I don't call them out on it. Though sometimes I will end up snapping sarcastically "why yes, I am such a bitch for mentioning the delicious pizza I ate yesterday."


I feel like Tina Fey said it best in Mean Girls:


ETA: It is mostly just one of my friends here that does it. And, honestly for various reasons if I lived in a town of more than 1,500 people I wouldn't hang out with her that much. But, it is something I've experienced as a widespread cultural phenomenon that I just don't understand in general.