No letter today. I was told that, even though the deadline was extended, they would probably send out offers during the first or second week of February. And I know it's only just the start of the second week, but I just...lost my plucky optimism today. Waiting on this letter has been exhausting and made me really anxious. Trying not to think about it has just made me think about it more. But the odds of me getting in are only okay; in 2013 they had 40 applications but only sent out 25 offers. 68 applications in 2011, 27 offers.

Maybe it's because my mood has taken such a rough turn lately, but I'm envisioning myself opening that envelope and getting all my hopes dashed. And it sucks. It really sucks. I've spent a lot of time imagining all the wonderful emotions that would come with getting in but I just feel like I have to prep myself for the worst. And I'm really, really not good at prepping myself for the worst; it still hurts when it comes.

How do you cushion yourself for something like this? Does anyone have any tips? Maybe I could start actively thinking about longer-term goals to accomplish if I don't get in. Sign up for something that starts in September, like tap dance classes. I don't know.